A note on pretty design

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vic-k
Posts: 7135
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Platform: Mac + Windows
Location: Protesting in the nude, outside ex Red Lion TESCO Store

Fri Dec 12, 2008 10:58 am Post

Vic`s daughter Sarah wrote:
Hey Dad just got this!!! Dead funny!!!

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate



DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend:
Cooking 3.0 and
Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck !

Tech Support
As a professional, you, are your one and only asset. Without integrity you are worthless, but with it, you are priceless.

ma
matt
Posts: 1180
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2007 9:35 am

Fri Dec 12, 2008 11:53 am Post

vic-k wrote:
Vic`s daughter Sarah wrote:
Hey Dad just got this!!! Dead funny!!!



My condolences to Sarah. The one thing we can't choose in life is our parents...

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vic-k
Posts: 7135
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2007 8:23 am
Platform: Mac + Windows
Location: Protesting in the nude, outside ex Red Lion TESCO Store

Fri Dec 12, 2008 1:10 pm Post

sssssighhhh :( Ah well, A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you too (and Aeon)
vic
As a professional, you, are your one and only asset. Without integrity you are worthless, but with it, you are priceless.

ma
matt
Posts: 1180
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2007 9:35 am

Fri Dec 12, 2008 1:19 pm Post

Hey, at least she is still sending you emails and calling you Dad.

When I have children, I doubt they will talk to me after the first six months... and before that, we won't know many of the same words.

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Jaysen
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Location: East-Be-Jesus-Nowhere SC, USA

Fri Dec 12, 2008 1:25 pm Post

The worst day of my life was when the daughditor learned to talk. Since then I have had no peace. I think it is a genetic disease.
Jaysen

I have a wife and 2 kids that I can only attribute to a wiggle, a giggle, and the realization that she was out of my league so I might as well be happy with her as a friend. 26 years marriage later, I can't imagine life without her. -Me 10/7/09

Image

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vic-k
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Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2007 8:23 am
Platform: Mac + Windows
Location: Protesting in the nude, outside ex Red Lion TESCO Store

Fri Dec 12, 2008 1:48 pm Post

matt wrote:I doubt they will talk to me after the first six months... and before that, we won't know many of the same words.


Judging by some of the posts to Scriv`s forums, it`s been going on a hell of a lot longer than that, and it shows no sign of abating!! It`s a work of art, trying to engage in adult discourse. I despair of it sometimes :(
As a professional, you, are your one and only asset. Without integrity you are worthless, but with it, you are priceless.

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Wock
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Fri Dec 12, 2008 4:27 pm Post

Jaysen wrote:The worst day of my life was when the daughditor learned to talk. Since then I have had no peace. I think it is a genetic disease.


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The wheel is turning but the hamster is still dead.