Is this where we say ‘hello’?
I’m Paige from West Midlands and am on the trial run of Scrivener (Windows). I really don’t know what I’m doing on here because I should be trying to sort out all the fields and drop-down menus on the program!
I’m not totally thick (or blonde) because I have been using Write-it-Now (V4) for some time, so I have noticed some similarities. Guess I’ll poke around here for a while and see if I can learn anything. My usual Forum activity is via Writers Online.
Hello 
Dearest Paige,
Unfortunately, the answer to your question is: Yes. Yes, inasmuch as it has become the place where the unsuspecting; the vulnerable; the naive and the innocent, who, having first made the mistake of joining the crew of leaky old ship, Scrivener, as it ploughs the tempestuous seas of Literary Endeavour, assume, once again, mistakenly, that Scriv’s bottom deck And Now For That Latte is the the place to seek and find: friendship, camaraderie, bonhomie, and that welcoming helping hand. F’get it! Scrivener’s intelligentsia avoid the lower deck, as they would contact with bubonic plague!
Be careful who you talk to down here, and under no circumstances lend any other members of the crew money … no matter how heartrending their proffered plight.
Welcome aboard, Paige,
Take care
Vic x x x
Greetings Earthling,
Welcome to the world of Scrivener! In case you haven’t figured it out Vic-K is essentially bat-shit-crazy, though still very much a genius that is bat-shit-crazy. The ‘Vic-k effect’, essentially is what happens when you spend your life on forums such as these. But that’s not a bad thing…sort of…
I hope you enjoy writing with Scrivener, and should you ever be blessed with getting an Apple computer or one of them skinny devices they call, after tampons, iPads, or, after spaceships, iPods, or after E.T., iPhones (I-phone phone home to all you Spielberg fans) be sure to try out Scrivener for iOS!
Yosimiti
Hmm, interesting. Apropos the above:
As was muted in closed forum, some nine months ago, Yosimiti was thought to have contracted the Cafeteria roenbergensis scrivirus. Judging by the enclosed quote, it would appear our earlier fears have been realised. There is, at this point in time, no known cure.
Do Take care
Dr Mulality.
Scrivener Behavioural Psychologist
Indeed…
Indeed, indeed!
Remind you of anybody? 
Dear Paige,
As with yosimiti (or young yossi, as he like to be called), so it is with all those affected by 
A propensity for OFF-TOPICing But … given time … a lot of time, plus an inordinate about of patience, you could become immune to it … if you’re one of the fortunate.
So with no further ado, back on topic, and Welcome, once again aboard Scrivener, Paige,
Take care
Vic
Great, now I’m sure she thinks she’s entered crazy-town. Feels like the US elections…
[size=150]Yossi, if y’re reading this, close you eyes NOW!!!
T’night, I’shall be curling up with Olivia Watts, Paige’s main protagonist/heroine in:[/size] 
Might even have an early night! 
Damn she is an actual writer…
Ah well, there goes creating good first impressions…
Good job Vic -p
Talk about parent’s making a good prediction for her future…
Y’ could’ve, hit the nail on the head there, Numpt. If she has inherited her dad’s warped sense of humour, she’ll have a niche already prepared for her here on Scriv’s lower deck. She could be lurking here already for all we know 
Dont’ you think thats pointing out the advantages given to nails is a bit mean?
I had a choice of two options:
a) Speak the truth, “Y’ could’ve, hit the nail on the head there, Numpt.”
b) Be kind, and my post would’ve read, “Y’ could’ve, , Numpt.”
Fine. I concede the point. This time.
About that yossi guy… Seems awful new to be pointing out the truth about your mental state so openly. I’m not sure if he is particularly brazen or you’ve lost your edge. There wasn’t the normal level of fear and trepidation we’ve come to expect. You feeling ok these days?
What y’ve got t’ realise, numpt, is that young yossi is a university student, and like uni stoodes the world over, he flits twixt this and other parallel universes/dimensions umpteen times day-n-night. The Lords of Physics & Mother Nature, hold no sway over them. Until their Day of Atonement, (Graduation Day), we mere mortals go with the flow, as it were, bend with the wind, so to speak, and pay no heed to their extraterrestrial behaviour. And! Since when have I ever inspired a sense fear and trepidation in other members of Scriv’s crew? Y’ must be mixing me up with Fluff.
Thanks all, and a special thanks to vic-k (not for the book, but cos I like a man with a beard.
So, bottom deck. It’s certainly easier writing on here than trying to fathom all the drop-downs and binders and . . .
That’s my reason for delayed thanks!!
8) 
Shucks!! Thank yoo
[size=150]Know where y’re coming from, Paige 
I’ve been waiting since 2007, for somebody to come up with [/size]
[size=200] FOR SCRIVENER. v.1 INTERACTIVE TUTORIALS[/size]
[size=150]As soon as they do … look for me topping the 'Worldwide Bestselling Bonk-Busting Bodice Ripping, Steampunk Espionage, SF" list.[/size]
Till then I’ll go back to trying to figure out wot th’ell The Binder’s all about. Sounds like a roll of something they’d be using in “50 Shades of Pink”
Lovely to see you made it back to the bottom deck 
I’m enjoying my nightly cavorting with Olivia
Take care,
Vic
How you have to time to come up with this crazy shit is beyond me bruv…You deserve a degree in Bulshitology. Add that your degree of Rat Catching and Wall Painting.
And yes… being that “Yossi guy” I am a frequent flyer into parallel universes, mainly those with clean-shaven women, and cheerleaders…lots and lots of cheerleaders… and don’t forget talking gorillas and tuxedo-wearing snails who like playing cricket in their spare time crossing sidewalks early in the morning during monsoon seasons…
I shall have to wait as well to evenutally pick your book about Dummies at some point. Do you think it’d sell in Parallel universes?