English - why I hate Americans

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Thequietone
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Fri Nov 13, 2009 1:56 pm Post

The Wizard, an eccentric in Canterbury NZ used to sell a map like that, reversed.

It got you thinking about why all maps point North. Why Britain is so large and Australia by comparison so small.

Drive 3 days from London and you are in Istanbul after having crossed many countries and cultures.
Drive 3 days from Sydney and you are in Melbourne.

Paul

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Jaysen
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Fri Nov 13, 2009 2:00 pm Post

And yet the +3 can harass you not matter how long you travel.

BWAHAHAHAH!!
Jaysen

I have a wife and 2 kids that I can only attribute to a wiggle, a giggle, and the realization that she was out of my league so I might as well be happy with her as a friend. 26 years marriage later, I can't imagine life without her. -Me 10/7/09

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Jacqi Corgan
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Sat Nov 14, 2009 12:22 am Post

Jaysen wrote:And yet the +3 can harass you not matter how long you travel.

BWAHAHAHAH!!


Let me guess: "Daddy, are we there yet?"
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xiamenese
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Sat Nov 14, 2009 12:59 am Post

Actually, with Aussies, it's like the old story ...

A farmer from New England visited a former school-mate, now a rancher in Texas. As he picked him up at the airport, the Texan kept going on about how big his house was, how many cows he had … After lunch he took the New Englander out for a tour of the ranch and as they got in the jeep, the Texan said, "Y'know … I can get in my jeep and drive in a straight line all day, and I still won't reach the end of my ranch!"
"I know what you mean," replied the New Englander, "I had a jeep just like that once!"

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Jacqi Corgan
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Sun Nov 15, 2009 2:10 am Post

LOL! :mrgreen:
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zikade
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Sun Nov 15, 2009 5:39 pm Post

I used to visit the US quite often, and most of the people I met did enjoy what they called "german humour". Odd, I always thought, I do know german, but I never encountered any trace of humour in it. Then it struck me: it's my teachers fault, they taught british english, which, if taught right, is a pretty good base for developing irony.
It has never been me being particularly funny, but somehow my strict application of german thought for producing english sentences resulted into irony. The brits I met ... thats another story.

Ah, well, I did miss the point of this thread, didn't I? Enjoy the diversity.

Can't change it anyway, now can you? So, to avoid reflux and a lot other unpleasantries, embrace it.
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Jacqi Corgan
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Sun Nov 15, 2009 9:01 pm Post

Amen! Homogeneity may be comforting and convenient, but variation can be interesting. Plus, it can be awfully funny!

I've probably told this story before, so if you've already heard it, just ignore the rest of this post. Before I was a lawyer, I worked as a newspaper editor in a little town about 50 miles south of Akron, where I was raised, and where I now live. Though the little town is in Ohio, just like Akron, it seemed the people there spoke a completely different language! (Every week, without fail, someone told me, "Y'ain't from 'roun' here, are 'ya?" It went on for the entire four years I spent there.)

One day, the editor in charge of the opinion page asked me to proofread his weekly column. In it, he recalled how, when the newspaper was printed in the afternoons, his young son had a paper route, and in the winters, the boy would "put a toboggan on his head," and trudge through the snow to deliver newspapers to his customers.

I was puzzled and a little horrified. How, I wondered, could a 10-year-old boy have put a toboggan onto his head? "Why would he put it on his head?" I asked. "Wouldn't that have been pretty heavy?"

"No. He put it on to keep warm," came the perplexed reply. It didn't help. I was still confused. So was my colleague.

After the editor and I stared at each other in befuddlement for a second or two, the editor realized the problem.

"Jacqi, you just ain't from 'round here," he said. " 'Round here, a toboggan is a knitted hat. What is it up north, where you're from?"

"It's a 40-pound wooden sled!" I replied. :lol:
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vic-k
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Sun Nov 15, 2009 11:03 pm Post

Jacqi,
He was probably just a big headed kid!:D

The East Lancashire Rd (East Lancs as it`s known), is about 32ml long. A straight as a die Roman Road. It runs from Manchester to Liverpool. All along the E.Lancs corridor are numerous Small towns and conurbations. Each of these places will have their own variation of Lanky dialect. Lancashire, is notorious for its accents and dialects.

There are many Lanky dialect poets. My favourite is a man called Sam Fitton from Oldham. Sam`s dead`n`long gone, bu` `is po`try aint! Here`re t` first few verses of my two favourite Sam F. poems. The rest of the poems can be found along wi` a load o` tothers! at:
http://dunkerley-tuson.co.uk/bitofculture.aspx
Take care
vic

My Owd Case Clock
By Sam Fitton

We o’ han cherished things no doubt,
We somehow feel we cornt do ‘bowt:
Some furniture we value heigh,
We’n things ‘at money couldna’ beigh.
I have an owd case-clock a’ whoam
I wouldna’ sell for any sum;
It stood i’ th’ corner, so I’m towd
When first I coom to live i’ th’ fowd ;
It stons theer yet, an’ neet an’ day
It measures time an’ ticks away –
“Tick, tock; tick, tock.”


Eawr Sarah’s Getten A Chap
by Sam Fitton
 
Eh, dear; there’s bin some change in
Eawr heause this week or two;
Wheer once there used to be a din
It’s like a Sunday schoo’;
We never feight for apple pie,
We very seldom frap;
An’ what d’ye think’s the reason why?
Eawr Sarah’s getten a chap.
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Jacqi Corgan
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Mon Nov 16, 2009 2:26 am Post

Just 32 miles! Wow! Now that's impressive! Long live the dialects!
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vic-k
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Mon Nov 16, 2009 2:27 pm Post

Well I never!! Y` live`n` learn! :shock:
Jacqi, I`m afraid I mislead you referring to the E.Lancs, as a Roman Rd. It was constructed (as you can see here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A580_road ), late 1920s early 30`s. I`ve lived with that misconception since late 1950s. Not the only one as it turns out. The older I get, I see more of them falling by the wayside. :oops: :(

I suspect there is some tenuous connections with then existing Roman influenced highways.

Jacqi Corgan wrote:Just 32 miles! Wow! Now that's impressive!
What exactly impressed you? I`m not sure of your meaning. :wink:
Take care
vic
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Jaysen
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Mon Nov 16, 2009 2:48 pm Post

vic-k wrote:
Jacqi Corgan wrote:Just 32 miles! Wow! Now that's impressive!
What exactly impressed you? I`m not sure of your meaning. :wink:
Take care
vic

Being familiar with the Akron area (the '80s) 32 miles is the distance between neighbors. Ok, maybe that is a tad bit of an exaggeration, but 32mi is trivial this side of the pond.
Jaysen

I have a wife and 2 kids that I can only attribute to a wiggle, a giggle, and the realization that she was out of my league so I might as well be happy with her as a friend. 26 years marriage later, I can't imagine life without her. -Me 10/7/09

ImageImage

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vic-k
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Mon Nov 16, 2009 4:10 pm Post

Jaysen wrote:Being familiar with the Akron area (the '80s) 32 miles is the distance between neighbors. Ok, maybe that is a tad bit of an exaggeration, but 32mi is trivial this side of the pond.
Still toting the old Yankee twaddle of, size matters, `n` mine`s bigger than yours. tch! tch! Wot y` like? :shock: Anyway, from what I can see, it sure as hell don`t look like you`d `ave far to go to scrounge a cup of sugar.

EDITED in response to Jaysen`s post below
http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&clien ... CAwQ8gEwAA
Within a 50ml radius of Akron there are as many areas of habitation as there are in a comparable Lancs/Mersyside area. So like I said, Young `n` its only your Yankee perception of My big`s bigger `n your big, that seems to be causing confusion. I can only repeat my question to, Jacqi, since only she knows what she means. So, until Jacqi answers, mum`s the word eh! :wink:
Last edited by vic-k on Mon Nov 16, 2009 8:55 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Jaysen
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Mon Nov 16, 2009 7:50 pm Post

Are you sure that is the right picture?
a person is is smarter than vic-k and jaysen (which technically covers every person who is not Wock) wrote:I worked as a newspaper editor in a little town about 50 miles south of Akron, where I was raised, and where I now live.

And one picture does not an accurate representation make.

EDITED in response to vic-k's post below on the above:
YAWN.
Last edited by Jaysen on Mon Nov 16, 2009 9:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Jaysen

I have a wife and 2 kids that I can only attribute to a wiggle, a giggle, and the realization that she was out of my league so I might as well be happy with her as a friend. 26 years marriage later, I can't imagine life without her. -Me 10/7/09

ImageImage

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vic-k
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Mon Nov 16, 2009 8:57 pm Post

see :roll: above the above.
For safety sake, I wouldn`t be to liberal with your use of YAWN. Linda seems to think it`s hers! :shock: She could turn nasty and start stalking y` :(
You could try, BORING! or PANDICULATION!
Last edited by vic-k on Mon Nov 16, 2009 9:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Jaysen
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Mon Nov 16, 2009 9:03 pm Post

See above the above to you too.
Jaysen

I have a wife and 2 kids that I can only attribute to a wiggle, a giggle, and the realization that she was out of my league so I might as well be happy with her as a friend. 26 years marriage later, I can't imagine life without her. -Me 10/7/09

ImageImage