Bread - why I hate Americans

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pink
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Thu Oct 01, 2009 1:28 pm Post

The best place in the world to live is over a bakery.
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Jaysen
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Thu Oct 01, 2009 1:47 pm Post

In a bakery might be better. Today we are making a danish sweet bread and molasses cookies (we call them "mole butts"). The smell sticks in your clothes when you leave he house. Mmmmm....
Jaysen

I have a wife and 2 kids that I can only attribute to a wiggle, a giggle, and the realization that she was out of my league so I might as well be happy with her as a friend. 26 years marriage later, I can't imagine life without her. -Me 10/7/09

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pink
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Thu Oct 01, 2009 1:57 pm Post

mole BUTTS? they must look appetising!
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vic-k
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Thu Oct 01, 2009 2:01 pm Post

pink wrote:My mother used to freeze bread. I hated the aftermath of that.
How awful for you :shock: What on earth did the aftermath taste like.
Skallegrim wrote:Not so sure about messing with elephants.
I`m shocked you even considered it. :shock:
pink wrote:The best place in the world to live is over a bakery.
I thought that was supposed to be, 'Over a bordello".
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Fluff
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tannie
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Thu Oct 01, 2009 2:02 pm Post

And I hate* all of you for being able to eat bread!

Tanja

*not really of course... I really miss bread!

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Jaysen
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Thu Oct 01, 2009 2:18 pm Post

pink wrote:mole BUTTS? they must look appetising!

Umm, no. I expected more of you. Molasses cookies. Think about it for a moment.
Jaysen

I have a wife and 2 kids that I can only attribute to a wiggle, a giggle, and the realization that she was out of my league so I might as well be happy with her as a friend. 26 years marriage later, I can't imagine life without her. -Me 10/7/09

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vic-k
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Thu Oct 01, 2009 2:31 pm Post

Miss PInk
Mol asses=Rodents` bottoms, is what Numpty means. But y`s already sussed that...din`t y`?
As a professional, you, are your one and only asset. Without integrity you are worthless, but with it, you are priceless.

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Jaysen
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Thu Oct 01, 2009 2:46 pm Post

Boy actually came up with that.

We were in the store doing the weekly grocery shopping and he picks up the jar of molasses and starts snickering. Me, being only slightly less dim than a 2 watt bulb stare at him and ask "what is so funny?" the snicker turns into chuckling as the holds the bottle up. I look at it when the daughditor stops, then laughs out loud and says "I never noticed that!"

At this point I am getting a little testier than normal and demand an explanation. "Come on dad, you really can expect us to beleive you don't se it".

"SEE WHAT?!"

"Sir, please. Don't disturb the other customers or we will need to ask you to leave the store."

"Fine you tell me what they are laughing at"

Kid holds up jar. Clerk looks at bottle for all of 3 seconds and bursts out in laughter as kid says "we make cookies from this."

FInally, just as the steam starts to come out of my ears, boy looks at me and says, "how many moles had to die to fill this jar? How else did they get their … remember you asked … asses in here?" At which point he covers the "mol" up.

Since that day we have eaten "mole butt" cookies.
Jaysen

I have a wife and 2 kids that I can only attribute to a wiggle, a giggle, and the realization that she was out of my league so I might as well be happy with her as a friend. 26 years marriage later, I can't imagine life without her. -Me 10/7/09

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ptram
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Thu Oct 01, 2009 2:57 pm Post

Actually, going around Europe means finding a different type of bread for each town or village you visit. What I like when going around, is having a breakfast with my slice of bread and local honey or jam.

Germany is probably the country with the most varied kinds of bread one can imagine. But France is not kidding, too.

As for the country I live in, Italy, bread used to be just fantastic. While we mostly use white bread of wheat flour, regional varieties are incredible. The same base ingredients can make incredibly different types of bread, all crispy and fragrant.

However, I wrote "used to", because now flour can be replaced with a huge percentage of malt in the list of ingredients, and this makes bread spongy and more apt for insulating walls and windows, rather than being eaten by humans. Luckily, there are still artisans who sell their products even in the largest groceries, so I can usually have very good bread, either from my own region, or from two of the ones at the boundaries.

If "focaccia" can be considered part of the bread family, I'm also a fanatic of what Byzantines left in my area - the typical mediterranean flat bread, that we call either piadina or crescia. The fast varying from north to south, in an area of just about 200km from Ravenna to Ancona, is a reason of debating and some copyright infringement issues.

Paolo

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ptram
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Thu Oct 01, 2009 3:10 pm Post

Just a recent memory, somewhat related.

I was at a contemporary theatre festival in Terni, following the company of My Chosen One. It was very late (about 3 a.m.) when we ended discussing of the show. We were all very hungry, since there was no time for a real dinner.

Going around the town, we found a baker at work. It was time for cooking small pizzas ("pizzette") and brioches. Should I describe the smell, or can you already guess it? And the taste was not less than the smell.

We were happy. She gave me a kiss. I'm grateful to the bakeries open at night.

Paolo

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pink
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Thu Oct 01, 2009 3:32 pm Post

oh I love that story!

My larger but definitely smellier other half and I went around europe in a black VW camper (kombi) for our honeymoon, and we lived off bread and cheese for many lunches, purely because everywhere we went it would be a different iteration of the familiar, and there is nothing more appealing than fresh bread that you break open rather than sully it with knife.
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KB
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Thu Oct 01, 2009 4:34 pm Post

Mr Blount,
Purely for the purposes of psychological profiling, would that be, African or Indian.


I left it deliberately vague; I didn't want to Google to see which had the biggest appendages in case my better half should happen to see my internet history. :shock:

My mom used to freeze bread too. I think it was the post-war mentality: get ten loaves in and freeze 'em before they bring back rations.

Germany certainly does have very good bread. I don't recall the bread much in other countries (oddly enough, despite my rant, it's not something I usually notice); I just noticed the variation in America, probably because they have so many immigrants that have brought with them so many different types. But by that standard, you'd think London would be better...

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Juddbert
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Thu Oct 01, 2009 8:34 pm Post

Good rant Keith, but it's all a question of balance. The yanks just can't do bacon - not proper bacon anyway, so I say "Let them eat... er... bread."
Can't write right. Don't care neither. Er...either.

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Jaysen
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Thu Oct 01, 2009 8:41 pm Post

Juddbert wrote:Good rant Keith, but it's all a question of balance. The yanks just can't do bacon - not proper bacon anyway, so I say "Let them eat... er... bread."

What are you smoking†? In what way does bacon here fall short? Are you talking about that crap you get shrink wrapped at the mega market? I might agree with you if you are, but we look at that just like wonder bread. You won't die eating it, but it isn't worth much.

† think about it
Jaysen

I have a wife and 2 kids that I can only attribute to a wiggle, a giggle, and the realization that she was out of my league so I might as well be happy with her as a friend. 26 years marriage later, I can't imagine life without her. -Me 10/7/09

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Juddbert
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Thu Oct 01, 2009 8:49 pm Post

I thought that might stoke up a swift response *snigger*. You bristle very well for someone with no head. I can see the starch on your collar cracking...
:wink:
Can't write right. Don't care neither. Er...either.

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