I know you are, but what am I?

Am
Amcmo

Tue Jan 28, 2020 4:29 am Post

It’s a known issue that many


It's a know issue that a small number of people have experienced from what we've seen here and L&L staff comments. Yes it's frustrating in the extreme for those impacted, but let's not blow it into a hysterical 'Synchgate'.

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AmberV
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Tue Jan 28, 2020 11:48 am Post

Good luck with that!
.:.
Ioa Petra'ka
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pigfender
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Tue Jan 28, 2020 4:41 pm Post

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess called Princess Amanda. Princess Amanda lived in a fabulous castle made of robust building materials that allowed for effective heat insulation (and thus was an extremely energy efficient living environment), yet still allowed for excellent mobile phone coverage indoors. It wasn’t so large that it constantly needed dusting, nor so small that every time Princess Amanda bought a new book she’d have to retessilate her bookshelves.

One day, a medium-sized dragon materialised in the corner of her main living space, breathing fire and generally making excessive roaring sounds. This disturbed the young princess immensely, because the noise made it very hard for her to hear and enjoy the YouTube video she was watching, and she was very conscious that she had no idea how to get smoke odours out of delicate fabrics and she would sooner move castle than change sofa. She loved that sofa. It was a really very comfortable sofa.

She called out for her boyfriend (who technically wasn’t a Prince, but that was tolerable because he had most of his own hair and knew how to make really good scrambled eggs on toast) to come through from the other room. The boyfriend mindlessly grumbled and mumbled a few comments about how he wasn’t on the internet so any problems with WiFi speed had nothing to do with him, but when that didn’t stop the calls for assistance he plodded through to see what Princess Amanda wanted and immediately saw the dragon.

“You got a dragon,” he said.

“I didn’t get it,” said Princess Amanda. “You must have let it in.”

“Why would I do that?”

“You never lock the front door properly,” said the Princess, gesticulating in the general direction of the main portcullis.

The boyfriend frowned and looked at the dragon, who looked back at the boyfriend and hicced a delicate little burp of smoke and grinned a smile that managed to be both toothy and apologetic at the same time.

“Is there something you can do with it?” asked the Princess.

“Now?” asked the boyfriend.

“Well, yes,” said Princess Amanda.

“But I’m in the middle of a chapter,” said the boyfriend.

“It’s getting smoke on the sofa,” said the Princess. “And you’re always in the middle of a chapter because you take three months to write a damned chapter.”

The boyfriend frowned again.

“Do you speak English?” he asked the dragon.

“I do!” replied the dragon, in a Welsh accent so broad it practically dripped with daffodils.

“Are you lost?” asked Princess Amanda.

“I don’t think so,” said the dragon, who introduced himself as Rhys and explained he wasn’t lost, he just wasn’t where he was supposed to be.

The dragon smiled, waved and - with a final belch of smoke whose odour had the faintest hint of bergamot - disappeared as quickly as he’d arrived.

“Anything else?” asked the boyfriend.

“Yes, can you get off the internet? The WiFi speed is terrible.”
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"Some dice only have sixes." nom, 19 Oct 2013
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Jaysen
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Tue Jan 28, 2020 6:51 pm Post

pigfender wrote:Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess called Princess Amanda. ....

I have a feeling this is more of a "day in the life of the fender of pigs" than a fictional parody.
Jaysen

I have a wife and 2 kids that I can only attribute to a wiggle, a giggle, and the realization that she was out of my league so I might as well be happy with her as a friend. 26 years marriage later, I can't imagine life without her. -Me 10/7/09

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pigfender
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Wed Jan 29, 2020 8:33 am Post

It’s got dragons, castles, princesses[,] and living areas with good mobile phone coverage and it feels autobiographical to you?

I’ll take that as a rare compliment. :)
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"Some dice only have sixes." nom, 19 Oct 2013
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Twolane
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Wed Jan 29, 2020 10:28 am Post

Kindly requesting a trigger warning for use of the word tessilate... Oh never mind. It's too late.

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Ahab
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Wed Jan 29, 2020 11:36 am Post

But is it the sort of dragon one might not mind visiting now and then, in a casual sort of way, or the sort that always arrives at tea-time and makes critical comments regarding your taste in Welsh Cakes and upholstery?

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Jaysen
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Wed Jan 29, 2020 12:43 pm Post

If the compliments fits...

I guess I need to work harder at making the compliments clearer if they are perceived as rare.
Jaysen

I have a wife and 2 kids that I can only attribute to a wiggle, a giggle, and the realization that she was out of my league so I might as well be happy with her as a friend. 26 years marriage later, I can't imagine life without her. -Me 10/7/09

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nom
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Mon Feb 03, 2020 12:12 pm Post

Jaysen wrote:If the compliments fits...

I guess I need to work harder at making the compliments clearer if they are perceived as rare.


You do compliments? :shock:
Complete and utter NOMsense.
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Jaysen
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Mon Feb 03, 2020 4:22 pm Post

nom wrote:
Jaysen wrote:If the compliments fits...

I guess I need to work harder at making the compliments clearer if they are perceived as rare.


You do compliments? :shock:

apparently not... I try though... Just the other day I tried to compliment someone. "I've seen much worse outfits on corpses" was on that seemed to go unrecognized no matter how many times I repeated it.
Jaysen

I have a wife and 2 kids that I can only attribute to a wiggle, a giggle, and the realization that she was out of my league so I might as well be happy with her as a friend. 26 years marriage later, I can't imagine life without her. -Me 10/7/09

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pigfender
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Tue Feb 18, 2020 5:10 pm Post

Ahab wrote:But is it the sort of dragon one might not mind visiting now and then, in a casual sort of way, or the sort that always arrives at tea-time and makes critical comments regarding your taste in Welsh Cakes and upholstery?


It was a dark and stormy cup of tea. Claws make for wonderfully intimidating ends to your fingers, which is important if you’re to enjoy a successful career as a dragon, but they can make some of life’s simpler tasks -- such as handling small teaspoons -- quite fiddly.

Rhys watched the swirls of insufficiently mingled milk dance a merry tango across the ballroom of the tea’s surface and tried his best to help mix the drink with a slow rotational agitation of the mug. His dad’s advice had always been to blow a cyclone round the rim, but his naturally smoke-tinged breath always made the resultant brew taste a little too much like lapsang souchong for Rhys’ liking.

He sighed, sipped, and after a brief pause to savour all the leafy warmth, turned back to face his new assistant. “What was I saying, again?”

“You were saying that crumpets should be slightly overdone on the top,” replied Lucy, a 20 year old geography undergrad who was seriously considering murdering the person from the University of Cardiff's careers office responsible for organising work experience.

“Ah yes. Crumpets should be slightly overdone on the top and underdone on the bottom,” said Rhys. “That way you have a fighting chance of having some of the butter stay on the surface, but when some does melt past the top it gets sponged evenly through the rest and you can use the unsealed base to mop up any butter residue from the plate.”

Lucy said nothing.

“That’s why you can’t use a toaster,” said Rhys.

“Right,” said Lucy. “No toaster.”

The two of them sat there. A clock ticked noisily through the awkward silence. A dog barked somewhere in the distance and Rhys took an unnecessarily slurpy sip of his tea.

“Are you saying you want some crumpets?” asked Lucy.

“No. I’m just making conversation, that’s all.”
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Jaysen
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Tue Feb 18, 2020 7:54 pm Post

pigfender wrote:“Are you saying you want some crumpets?” asked Lucy.

“No. I’m just making conversation, that’s all.”

That part, even though slightly worn, put a smile on my face as it is nearly word for word a conversation I had with the boss lady over lunch.
Jaysen

I have a wife and 2 kids that I can only attribute to a wiggle, a giggle, and the realization that she was out of my league so I might as well be happy with her as a friend. 26 years marriage later, I can't imagine life without her. -Me 10/7/09

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Ah
Ahab
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Wed Feb 19, 2020 11:18 am Post

"But what if," Lucy said with averted eyes, "the crumpets are more metaphorical in nature?"

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nom
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Sun Feb 23, 2020 1:52 pm Post

Ahab wrote:"But what if," Lucy said with averted eyes, "the crumpets are more metaphorical in nature?"


“Then you definitely can’t use a toaster,” Rhys replied.
Complete and utter NOMsense.
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Prometheus
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Fri Mar 20, 2020 5:59 pm Post

geoffstrout wrote:Any other Windows users here getting frustrated with Scrivener's total lack of support for the platform?

Scrivener 3.0 for Windows has now been only available in beta and "coming soon" for 2 years now!

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I've been reading and any requests on this forum for faster development are attacked as if someone asking for a stable, production-ready version is spiteful, mean or unreasonable.

Am I alone on this?


No, you are not. Like you, I've been a proponent of scrivener for quite some time, even donating licenses to other people. But there are only so many times one can shout into the void expecting an answer before one moves on. The fact you immediately received a "If you bothered to read...." response tells you all you need to know. They're not a support person, but they surely are representative of what goes on here.

I've written a novel in the beta. It wasn't always fun, and it's annoying having to go through the entire routine every time a beta expires. Fortunately, I don't have to deal with cross-platform things between Mac and Windows as you do. I went back to ywriter and word, because this year, I don't have the time to screw around with betas any longer. I cut L&L loose, which I think is a shame, because I do like the product. The attitude here, I can do without. And, the product, I can also do without. No, there's nothing quite like it. But those alternatives are not keeping their users on tenterhooks, and their products work and don't expire (properly licensed things, of course).

So, no, you're not the only one. But others who may pass through here and read some posts before they want to voice anything will indeed be turned off by the attitude of the defenders here. It's a pity.