True Horror Story From Beyond The Grave

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Juddbert
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Mon Nov 26, 2007 8:53 pm Post

Who'd have thought it? Our very own Vic - now revealed as the Russ Meyer of Stockport, peddling his own unique brand of compelling soft-porn psychobabble...

A valuable lesson for us all there... somewhere... perhaps... :?

I'm riveted, though probably unwise to use that particular verb. (Welders, even ex-welders - especially ex-welders, can light up at the smallest spark.)
Can't write right. Don't care neither. Er...either.

Scrivener 3.1.5 on macOS 10.15.6
Occasional player of the old Scappleodium...

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vic-k
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Mon Nov 26, 2007 9:09 pm Post

aww shucks! :lol: :lol:
ang on! what d`y mean!...SOFT porn?
Cheek!!

Mind you, y`still gorra way wi`words :wink:
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pink
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Mon Nov 26, 2007 9:45 pm Post

Face it Vic, you can't keep it up.

(The pace of the story... that is)
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vic-k
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Tue Nov 27, 2007 5:27 pm Post

This is becoming surreal !

I`m getting bad vibes.
With Tyranasynopsis`s ultimate end, well-nigh, a verrrry `strange` event occurred. Not the event, per se, more the timing.

I lost Internet connection for the first time, ever! :shock: :?

Some folk, of a certain mind set, would see this as some kind of warning and urge me to exercise extreme caution, in the way I handle the denouement of this `true tale` but I have no caution at my disposal, to, exercise.

The ending is out of my hands. Being as it is, dictated by events, circumstance and bizarre happenstance, I am powerless to intervene.
vic

PS Pink I can see you are recovering :wink: your double entadre-ary is becoming more more fluid :)
As a professional, you, are your one and only asset. Without integrity you are worthless, but with it, you are priceless.

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pink
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Tue Nov 27, 2007 6:19 pm Post

it's true, the fever robbed me of my rapier like wit.
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vic-k
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Tue Nov 27, 2007 7:12 pm Post

grrr! cum ere an giv us a kiss!!! whoaa!
As a professional, you, are your one and only asset. Without integrity you are worthless, but with it, you are priceless.

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pink
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Tue Nov 27, 2007 7:55 pm Post

* grabs a large and absorbent towel *
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vic-k
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Tue Nov 27, 2007 8:16 pm Post

TYPO ALERT!!!TYPO ALERT!!!TYPO ALERT!!!TYPO ALERT!!!TYPO ALERT!!!

TYPO ALERT!! PINK I have just dicovered a reall bad typo in one of my

TYPO ALERT!!! posts In stead of `63not 36
. It should read `6ft3in not 3ft 6in

TYPO ALERT!!!

TYPO ALERT!!! 8)
As a professional, you, are your one and only asset. Without integrity you are worthless, but with it, you are priceless.

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pink
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Tue Nov 27, 2007 11:14 pm Post

Is speechless. Really. I can't think of anything to say at this junction.

I am not sure which is worse... the thought of you as a dried out gandalf, or a virile midget,
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vic-k
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Wed Nov 28, 2007 2:46 am Post

MIDGET!! MIDGET!! WOT Y`TALKIN ABOUT Y`BIMBO

I SAID 6FT 3IN NOT3FT 6IN

jeeezz!!
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Siren
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Wed Nov 28, 2007 3:36 am Post

I have solved your synopsis problem, Vic. All you need is a copy of Microsoft Word; use its AutoSummarize feature, and bingo! There's your synopsis.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking it couldn't possibly be this easy, aren't you? So, just to prove you wrong, I plugged in my 50k+ draft and reduced it to twenty sentences. I think you'll find the result is quite compelling:
[quote]John was happy.
***
John glared. “Right,â€

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vic-k
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Wed Nov 28, 2007 1:19 pm Post

Siren,

Don`t fret your self about your literary capability`s shortcomings, Pet :wink:
You`re not on your own :) Not only is verbal diarrhoea my forte!! literary short comings are too! :lol:
So you really are not on your own,Kidoe :wink: I don`t need MS though. It`s agift i`ve got :) see above and below :wink:

Franz
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vic-k
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Wed Nov 28, 2007 1:29 pm Post

TRUE HORROR STORY FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE
. Chapter 4
In `The Thirty- nine Steps`, Scottish author John Buchan teaches us all to how to become convincing liars (or writers?.). After encountering a Scottish navvy hard at work, alone, away out on the Scottish moors, digging a ditch, Buchan`s hero, Richard Hanney, emersed himself in the man`s persona.

As the navvy departs the scene, Hanney becomes that navvy. Outwardly, altering his appearance and carrying on with the ditch digging, whilst inwardly convincing (this is the important bit, fellow travellers),….himself… that he `was` that navvy.When Hanney`s pursuers finally caught up with him, it was a Scottish navvy that sent them off on a fools errand in pursuit of their own tail. So convincing was the liar and the lie.

Believe the lie…Believe the lie…Believe the lie…Become the lie…
Be..come.. the lie…my little fart faced friend…or should I say `fiend!

What`s wrong with your face now. Getting worried are we!
It knows something is wrong but it cant get its head around what or why. But it will, sure as doggies, do dodo. It feckin will. It knows it`s bad. Just look at is eyes. Its eyes are glowing like two superheated white hot coals, plucked from Lucifer`s forge, and bunged into its stupid fat face.

I know what it wants to do, I can read its mind just like it used to be able to read mine because it`s my mind as well…. Yeah that`s what I said, slime ball…used to, but not any more. It wants to sink its claws and teeth into me, and rip me to shreds, but it can`t. Oh! don`t get me wrong, it can inflict pain. Pain, even more excruciating than being told, that another branch of my freeloading in-laws are coming over to stay.

Psychosomatic pain comes without bloodshed, only tears and fear of repetition. This was a lesson I learned on that very first day. After an hour of `face off` like confrontation. I`d become fed up. I wasn`t afraid of it. No way! Wary, obviously, but not afraid. I reached out to push it aside and it struck. It felt as if all the flesh on the palm of my hand had been ripped off. The attack lasted no more than a split second, as did the pain but it was enough to make a lasting impression on my mental sensory receptors

Well spittle bubble! Do you want me to tell you where you screwed up? He!he!oh!jeezzz have you screwed up!!

I`m gonna let the freak stew for a bit. It`s kept me waiting long enough!

Sometimes it would collapse in a heap and snore its head off, only opening its eyes if it sensed I was contemplating a surreptitious synopsis strike( yeah,.. I know, I can say it now). It never stopped me using iMac for anything else though. In fact the peasant would tap its foot in a show of boredom sometimes, just itching for a fight, or should I say `bite` . You`re not gonna believe this, but sometimes it would sit and watch or read whatever I was typing, whilst nodding its sodding head in approval or shaking it with disapproval, just like a tutor-!! I mean …come on..do me a favour..F`feck sake!!

That`s it! I`ve had enough now . Pay attention you slimy little slug. The synopsis has already been written. Capisch?.. Verstehen Sie?…Hello! is there anybody in there?

Why are you looking at me like that, little fellow…it`s true.
Listen, my little verdant fool. In the first four paragraphs of Chapter 3, I give my fellow questing compatriots, the gist, of what my modest little article is all about. Ah! ah!, I see the penny is in slow motion free-fall. I could be wrong here, my little green dumpling, but I think that short explanation would qualify as a 150 word sssynnnoppssiss..ss..Yeah!!!,, done!!.. sorted! So..Stick it up y` jacksey pal.

All that remains to be done, Little One, is, to, `Cut`n`Paste` it in to Textedit, and perrrinnntt.. it. orrrfff!

Oh gawd..no.. look at its face!..It`s coalescing into a human face!! Jeezz! it`s evil, so..evil looking… It`s fading now, fast….gone!..It`s gone! It`s..it`s gone.

Little Buddy`s gone now, but `where`, has he gone? And where did he really come from in the first place? And…and...and why?

To be concluded……

Possibly with alternitive endings :shock: That is if Siren would like to contribute one :?
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Siren
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Wed Nov 28, 2007 2:08 pm Post

No! Tell me it's not true! Your synopsis can't be finished! What will I do without my daily fix of melodrama and suspense as the story unfolds? Aaagghh!

Glad you didn't have to resort to a Microsoft Word auto-summary for it. As far as I can tell, it just picks out every single one- or two-word sentence in your entire draft, and ignores absolutely everything else. On what planet would that be considered a sensible method of producing a summary? :-)

Microsoft has kindly supplied me with a possible alternative ending for your tale - but I recommend you reject it, since it seems every bit as useless as its bizarre auto-summary of my fault-laden-but-surely-not-that-dire novel:
"Canals," said Vic. Dig! Vic grimaced. "18th century. The tutor laughed. Vic smiled. "Navvies. "Full marks, Vic," said the tutor. John faltered. "Well done.

(No, I don't know what John is doing in there, either.)
(P.S. Whose human face did the beastie coalesce into???)

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pink
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Wed Nov 28, 2007 2:23 pm Post

I quite like the totally bizzarre optional ending, I am quite the fan of a "choose your own adventure" style book!
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