matt wrote:I don't know what the intended rules were for this thread, but I am not sure that this sub-editing and nit-picking is quite in the spirit of the original intention.
If I may:
Mollys Mum wrote:people post the first lines (or first several lines) of their latest work for reader response
And reader response when you stick writing in a pack of writers = nitpicks.
matt wrote:Opening lines can be fun and clever, but I don't think it is anywhere near as make-or-break as implied by:Carradee wrote:Second sentence makes me shrug and put it down.
The first page perhaps, if browsing in a bookshop, but certainly not the first two sentences.
I can tell from that second sentence that the narrator is going to bother me.
I've been a proofreader and copyeditor as a day job, matt (and SeanC). Noticing early on if I'm going to like a writing piece or not comes with the territory. I'll sometimes dislike something I initially expected to like, but I've tried making myself read past those niggling "neh"s, and I've never ended up enjoying something I was hesitant about.
Am I characteristic of all readers? Nope. Just some.
What would you have preferred me do, say nothing about the line either way, even though I'd talked about everyone else's? Ooo, that would've been polite. I'm sure SeanC would've been wondering why I skipped him--did I just not see them, were they that bad, etc. See, I know how the writer's habit of puzzling out scenarios goes when left unchecked.