"The Lexington Strikes Back!"

kl
klcorridon
Posts: 311
Joined: Fri Mar 28, 2008 11:38 pm
Platform: Mac
Location: Eugene, OR

Thu May 15, 2014 5:58 am Post

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4TUMlTzxJ8

"Lesser Known Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: The Lexington Strikes Back!"
by Kevin L. Corridon

CHARACTERS
SHERLOCK HOLMES A Consulting Detective of some renown.
DR. JOHN H. WATSON An Assistant, former roommate, and friend of Holmes.
SAMANTHA LEXINGTON An Aviatrix, now maturing into an Evil Genius.
TALIA WADLINGTON A Henchwoman, and fallen minor noble turned to crime.

SETTING

Various locations in, above, and below London.

TIME

Just after the sky has turned to night.

ACT I
Scene 1 The Ship and Shovell pub. Now.
Scene 2 Aboard the Black Knight. Now.

ACT 1
SCENE 1
(All players save Watson take their position on the stage. Lexington and Wadlington are upper stage left, Holmes is lower stage right.)

WATSON
(off–stage, on mike, with music.)
Mysterious letters from the most surprising of locations. Strange sightings in the night sky. An urgent summons to meet Mr. Sherlock Holmes in the cellar of the Ship and Shovell pub.
(Watson joins Holmes on stage.)

HOLMES
Ah, Watson. I see my missives arrived in timely fashion.

WATSON
In a most rapid manner–– dash it all, but it's good to see you again.

HOLMES
And you, old friend, but we've no time–– the game is afoot once more!

WATSON
Indeed?

HOLMES
(wry grin on his face.)
I'll explain as we work.
(Gestures up and out.)
We return to the Tower of London!
(Holmes and Watson move to upper left stage.)

ACT [1]
SCENE [2]
(Samantha Lexington is at the helm of the airship Black Knight. Talia Wadlington is in the gondola with her.)

LEXINGTON
This time, Miss Wadlington, Buckingham Palace will be the first to go!

WADLINGTON
(excited.)
Then we'll pillage the Tower of London! Weapons at the ready, Miss Lexington!

LEXINGTON
(Correcting her.)
Captain Lexington.
(Lexingon resumes.)
Moriarty should never have given me any ideas, silly man. The Black Knight is a much better ship.

WADLINGTON
I've always hated that place, and the Tower's just dreary, Captain.

LEXINGTON
We'll light it up with flames, then.
(Both laugh diabolically. Then both move slowly to lower stage left.)

ACT [2]
SCENE [1]
(Holmes and Watson are atop the Tower of London, making their preparations.)
(Holmes and Watson drift slowly towards center stage during scene.)

HOLMES
Careful with the lines, Watson, everything must be shipshape if we're to succeed.

WATSON
(flustered from the wind and height.)
Jove himself wouldn't be comfortable in this wind!

HOLMES
Perhaps, but it's a headwind for the Black Knight and that will slow Miss Lexington down.

WATSON
Samantha Lexington's at it again?

HOLMES
The aviatrix has constructed a new and more dangerous airship, with few vulnerabilities.
(He hefts and imaginary grappling hook, and gazes out into the night.)
The gondola is the weakest point.

WATSON
Great Scott! You believe a mere grappling hook will suffice?

HOLMES
I have faith in my calculations. Plus we rely on the element of surprise.

WATSON
(Even more alarmed.)
Will they not fire upon their target?

HOLMES
Watson, we are in a danger more grave than we have ever faced.

ACT [2]
SCENE [2]
(Lexington and Wadlington in the gondola.)

WADLINGTON
Let's get closer to the Tower! I want to plan the rocket attack.

LEXINGTON
Hah! I could fly this ship right through that pile of rock!

WADLINGTON
And that's what it will be when we're done! And then...
(She trails off, lost in thought)

LEXINGTON
Then what?

WADLINGTON
I'd like to write a novel.

LEXINGTON
Some crime epic, hinting at our amazing capers?

WADLINGTON
No, I think...
(Gets excited here.)
Something with Vampires!

LEXINGTON
Talia, we're about to plunge London into chaos and plunder millions, and you're talking about boys?!

WADLINGTON
It's not about
(With a bit of a sneer.)
Boys,
(More matter–of–fact again.)
Samantha, it's about business! Bram Stoker completely misunderstood the romance angle! This will sell books! I––
(Looking out the window, puzzled.)
Is someone there?

LEXINGTON
What?!

WADLINGTON
Look out!
(Lexington and Wadlington are thrown towards center stage as the gondola crashes onto the platform.)

ACT [3]
SCENE [1]
(Holmes and Watson are in danger of being crushed by the airship as it crashes into the Tower.)

HOLMES
We were fortunate indeed that they should come so close! The throw was successful.

WATSON
Yes, but now the dashed thing is coming right at us! It's flipping 'round the wrong way!
(He looks around, concerned.)
Are you quite sure the Tower can take the strain?

HOLMES
(Standing firm.)
Courage, mon ami. We may need to effect a rescue of the miscreants. Ah. Here they are now.
(Raises his voice.)
Your caper has failed! Jump whilst ye may!
(All players lurch unevenly towards center stage.)
(Lexington and Wadlington confront their foes.)

HOLMES
Miss Lexington! Cease your nefarious activities! Someone as intelligent as yourself need not resort to a life of crime.

LEXINGTON
But it's so much more fun, by Jove! And damn you, you've ruined my ship!
(Holmes and Lexington SILENTLY continue to escalate their exchange during the next three lines.)

WADLINGTON
(Sidling up to Watson, mischief in mimd.)
And you must be Dr. Watson?

WATSON
Yes, rather. What are you looking at?

WADLINGTON
(Giggles, moves even closer.)
Oh, nothing. Though I could do with a character like you in my story...

WATSON
You'll have plenty of time for stories after you're locked up!
(Watson is unable to disengage himself, and flustered.)
Forward, indeed!

LEXINGTON
(To Holmes.)
You'll have to make me stop, Mister Sherlock Holmes!

HOLMES
(He moves to speak, but he is conflicted. He must choose between justice and adventure. He also notices that Lexington is quite beautiful when she is angry.)
I– cannot.
(Beat)
Miss–
(A bit softer here.)
Samantha
(Beat)
Lexington, life in London has become dull. I would prefer having interesting challenges to solve. I find them–
(Holmes dares to look her in the eyes.)
invigorating!

WATSON
Holmes?

HOLMES
We shall blame Moriarty in absentia, and say you two were held hostage. In good sportsmanship we will allow you forty–eight hours to make your escape.

WATSON
Holmes?!

HOLMES
Watson, you desire this almost as much as I.

WATSON
(Beat)
Oh alright, let's get down from here before we're overrun by Beefeaters.
(All players bow, then exit upper stage left.)
I may be an Idiot, but I'm no Fool...
For Maura, 4/7/59-11/21/09... My Muse, my Heroine, my Editor, my Patron. All that I have achieved as a writer is because of her.

User avatar
vic-k
Posts: 7135
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2007 8:23 am
Platform: Mac + Windows
Location: Protesting in the nude, outside ex Red Lion TESCO Store

Thu May 15, 2014 11:14 am Post

klcorridon wrote:ACT I
Scene 1 The Ship and Shovell pub.

You sure it's The Ship and Shovel?

klcorridon wrote:WADLINGTON
(Sidling up to Watson, mischief in mimd.)
And you must be Dr. Watson?
WATSON
Yes, rather. What are you looking at?
WADLINGTON
(Giggles, moves even closer.)
Oh, nothing. Though I could do with a character like you in my story...

AT LAST!!! Sex is rearing its ugly head :twisted: YEAH!!!!
As a professional, you, are your one and only asset. Without integrity you are worthless, but with it, you are priceless.

kl
klcorridon
Posts: 311
Joined: Fri Mar 28, 2008 11:38 pm
Platform: Mac
Location: Eugene, OR

Thu May 15, 2014 2:55 pm Post

Well, mostly I was trying to keep it PG-Rated, and there is a pub by that name, close to Baker Street and the Tower. And one of those palaces. But it is true that I'm making all this shite up. Plus, I want to see the ladies in those costumes again.
I may be an Idiot, but I'm no Fool...
For Maura, 4/7/59-11/21/09... My Muse, my Heroine, my Editor, my Patron. All that I have achieved as a writer is because of her.