devinganger wrote:I am curious, though -- can you give examples of said "masculine" expression? I ask because one of my goals in writing this is to avoid writing Amanda's POV as "a guy who just happens to be a girl." I am perhaps being overly ambitious, but I would like to avoid male gaze, default male assumptions, etc. as much as I can.
- the conscious irony of "Having your testicles crushed back up into your abdominal cavity has that effect, I hear.";
- the use of many one and two-syllable words, and few of three syllables or more;
- the use of few 'weak' (in 'masculine' terms) words (which is where I have a problem with 'mistreated' - a three-syllable word, 'wet' and high-pitched in sound, obscure and cloudy in meaning, and insofar as it has meaning, less than my imagination suggests to me Kimberly has actually been abused).
Personally, I see nothing especially wrong with Amanda seeming somewhat 'masculine' in physical conflict. I imagine there'll be other less belligerent circumstances where she can display her feminine side.