floss,s scratching post

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Floss
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Location: london, england

Mon Dec 09, 2013 11:53 am Post

i go away for a couple of months expecting to find my cus,s lower decks overflowing with examples of writing for me to sink my teeth into, but nothing...

what happened to all the aspiring writers
not frightened of a little kitty, surely
:€

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Fluff
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Mon Dec 09, 2013 1:16 pm Post

Floss wrote:i go away for a couple of months expecting to find my cus,s lower decks overflowing with examples of writing for me to sink my teeth into, but nothing...

what happened to 'all the aspiring writers'
not frightened of a little kitty, surely
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :oops: sorry about that, cus, sorry… it's your razor sharp wit and ironic imputations wot does it :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Anyway, where have you been… if it's a secret, whisper it, I won't tell anybody… 'onest!
Cus Fluff
Sent from Pangur ban's Astral iPad

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Floss
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Location: london, england

Tue Dec 10, 2013 9:44 am Post

nothing exciting. i took a little time off to sit in a sunbeam for a week, and then had to clear the backlog of scratching, hissing and being superior.
:€

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nom
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Tue Dec 10, 2013 10:15 am Post

I guess it's a dog's duty to help...

The Cat

It was a dank and dreary night and Tom's mood was foul. He stood by the drinks cabinet staring at Evelyn's lifeless body on the floor in front of the cat. The cat, unperturbed, looked nonchalantly at Tom. He shifted his gaze to the cat and his scowl deepened. "You will die," he whispered. His voice rising, he cried, "You faithless fiend, you killed her. Die!" He threw his glass of whiskey at the cat, missing her by several feet and splashing amber liquid over the rug, couch and the wall behind.

The cat blinked and twitched her tail. Twice.

Infuriated, Tom threw everything he could reach at the cat. This included the remnants of the bottle of whiskey, along with a bottle of his favourite brandy, two bottles of vodka, a tequila and an orange liqueur. The startled cat ran around the room with bottles of expensive liquor exploding behind her. A champagne cooler went through the window, shattering glass onto the path outside. As the cat leaped through the broken pane, Tom made a last desperate lunge. Tripping on the coffee table his head hit the window sill before he slumped against the side table and fell to the floor. The candles on the side table swayed, then slowly toppled onto the alcohol infused rug beside Tom's unconscious body and Evelyn's tiny corpse.

The cat sat on the fence, watching the flickering light in the room brighten. As the smoke and heat grew more intense, she moved to the comfort of the neighbour's porch to watch the fire crew try to bring the blaze under control. As the roof collapsed the cat pulled a feather out of the corner of her mouth, leaving it as a present for the neighbours. Silhouetted by the flames, the cat walked slowly into the night.

The next the morning, Tom's neighbours wondered how the feather survived the blaze and drifted into their back porch. Taking it as a sign, they later placed it on Tom's coffin at his funeral noting it seemed right to bury him with a memento of his prize budgerigar, Evelyn.
Complete and utter NOMsense.
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Floss
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Location: london, england

Tue Dec 10, 2013 7:03 pm Post

i... i have no words.



except to say that i am totally aroused right now
:€

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Fluff
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Tue Dec 10, 2013 9:30 pm Post

Floss wrote:i... i have no words. except to say that i am totally aroused right now

Cus
I do hope that we're not in for an inferior rendering of gymasticated feline fornication! Please tell m we're not
Cus Fluff :oops:
Sent from Pangur ban's Astral iPad

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nom
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Tue Dec 10, 2013 10:16 pm Post

I saw...
Floss wrote:i... i have no words.

...and was going to say, "You can thank me later."

Then I read...
Floss wrote:except to say that i am totally aroused right now

...and so...

...you can thank me later.
Complete and utter NOMsense.
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nom
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Tue Dec 10, 2013 10:19 pm Post

Fluff wrote:
Floss wrote:i... i have no words. except to say that i am totally aroused right now

Cus
I do hope that we're not in for an inferior rendering of gymasticated feline fornication! Please tell m we're not
Cus Fluff :oops:


Hmm, gives me some ideas for a second instalment. Perhaps a serial?
Complete and utter NOMsense.
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