Mon Aug 29, 2011 8:45 pm Post
Tue Aug 30, 2011 9:40 am Post
bayamo wrote:… I always took an extra paperback with me when I flew and left it in that little pocket on the seat in front of you …
bayamo wrote:… Funny thing is that if I would have done that, I wouldn’t be doing this now. …
bayamo wrote:… your catch yourself doing things you never dreamed in a million years you’d be doing.
Tue Aug 30, 2011 11:25 am Post
Tue Aug 30, 2011 12:51 pm Post
Then again maybe it’s just some story that spun out of control, much like my story will. Meh. Anyways, like I was saying, this is just something for me to leave behind, to say “I WUZ HERE”. It’s probably not as interesting as I think it is, but maybe you’ll like it. You probably won’t.
Tue Aug 30, 2011 1:45 pm Post
1. You are a better writer than this example shows.
2. It's too deliberately downscale and raggedy to be credible.
3. It smells a lot like college creative-writing workshop prose.
4. The voice of this narrator is all style, too little substance.
5. We can't see where the story is going and why it matters.
Tue Aug 30, 2011 5:24 pm Post
pigfender wrote:bayamo wrote:This is just an very very rough draft opening, but "the next page" really is where it starts.
Start there, then.
Tue Aug 30, 2011 6:07 pm Post
I guess now is as good a time as any to get started. If I don’t do this now I never will.
Tue Aug 30, 2011 10:27 pm Post
bayamo wrote:BTW Mark, you caught some grammar errors, thanks... as far as content goes, style, what about that?
Thu Sep 01, 2011 10:17 am Post
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