Author of Gods Behaving Badly.

I’m in love! With Scrivener. He — sorry, it — has totally changed my life.

I was first introduced to Scrivener in an e-mail from my long-suffering Brother. I ignored him — sorry, it — completely. As if a piece of crummy software is going to make any difference to my creativity! I pressed delete.

Fortunately, I got a second chance. A writer friend of mine re-introduced me to Scrivener (‘Haven't we met?’ ‘No, I don't think so.’ ‘I remember! Your brother introduced us! And you totally snubbed me! But fortunately I don't bear a grudge, and you can have me for a 30-day free trial, and then for life for a single payment of around £34.’ If only all relationships were so straightforward.)

And now it’s love. Proper head over heels. Scrivener is amazing. He’s — sorry, it's — everything I could dream of in a word processor. Where to even begin? Everything about him — sorry, it — is incredible. Intuitive. Adaptive. User friendly in ways I couldn’t ever have imagined from my mispent youth with other computer programmes. I never knew I could feel this way about anything I could download legally. I don’t want to nauseate you. I don’t want you tutting ‘get a study’. But I’ve never known multiple functions like this before... Truly, he’s — sorry, it’s — made me into a whole new writer.